'How art thou fallen from Heaven, o Lucifer, son of the morning! How art thou cut down from the ground which weakens nations...."
Lucifer, Beelzebub, Mephistopheles, Cacodemon, fiend, devil, ghost, shaitan, demons....
They knew they were going to come out, it was their time to, this is after 3am, the time when monsters become real, the ones you feel both inside and around you, this is called 'demon time.'
"Exi, seductor, plene omni dolo et fallacia, virtutis inimici, innocentium persecutor."
Demons exist around us, so do angels. They take up different forms, shapes and sizes, some refer to demons as advocates of evil, bringers of darkness and the adversary of God, while angels are advocates of good, well technically, the demon 'satan' or 'devil' as some know him to be was an angel called Lucifer, just like in the tales we hear in complex stories from religious literatures, how he waged a war against Arch Angel Michael, rebelled against God, got defeated and got cast into hell. That is what religious literature says, but what about you?
The more scared we are, the more real our monsters get, in our realities and in our dreams. We dream most times to escape our realities, our dreams are vivid, they could either be lucid or nightmares, you may be tempted to say wet dreams, laugh about that, well, that's yours to decide, but these dreams are stories our mind create while we sleep to make us happy, sad or scared. But do dreams have any purpose? I mean, do they hold any importance? What do they really exist to do? Do they reveal who you are, your desires or motivations or are they strange tales our mind uses to entertain us?
Imagine being faced with your greatest demon, imagine being locked up in a room drooling over the void of darkness with nothing but shadows hovering around you, feeling something present you can't phantom, but you know that it is evil, but what if that evil had a face? I know how it feels, and this is what I saw......
It felt real, almost as if I knew it was there. The door opened, the candle got lit on the table, but nobody was there so how was it possible? I had just locked the gate after watching my mum leave for Church, I laid on the parlour floor, closed my eyes and felt awake, like it called me, the candle casting a shadow, it started walking out of the dark room, walking towards me with a sinister smile on its face, two horns and a tail, i knew it was him and it was so frightening that I froze, I wondered if he was here for my soul. I wanted to scream but I couldn't, it kept coming closer, the only thing that separated us was the chair, it began to lean over using the chair as a support and its face was just closer to mine that I could feel the heat of his breath and I asked myself; am I in hell?
I thought I had just seen something vile who was here for my soul, but all of a sudden I was back to reality and sitting up exactly the same way it was five seconds ago, so what did I just see? This isn't one of those scary movie scenes where you expect a haunting season afterwards when they try to possess my soul, no, this was something different. You see, when it looked at me, I saw its eyes and all I could see was pain, anger, resentment, envy, lust, you would wonder how I was able to know, well because its eyes looked exactly like mine, and it smiled just the same.
All this while I thought I saw a devil, a demon or even Satan, whatever name you wish to console yourself with, but the true fact is that it was myself I saw, because I replaced the man I dreamed of being with a man filled with lust, and it's no wonder I cannot recognise who I am, sold my soul to temporary pleasures and became an advocate of pain. You see, the monsters aren't the ones you feel around you or imagine to be under the bed, the real monsters are the evil we see ourselves to be when we look at the mirror.
These monsters we see are reflections of our guilts, secrets, regrets and failures, we lock them inside and make them our enemies, our escape from reality, we try to fight them when in reality we are fighting ourselves, we end up broken and tend to place the blame on every other person or situation around us whereas we are the real monsters. Most times monsters can be beautiful, but we are too afraid to face them that's why we see failure as an omen instead of an opportunity to try again, we begin to dodge reality and fail to do certain things like fall in love after a heartbreak, going for that interview after 50 tries without any call back, we deprive ourselves of the growth we could have encountered by just enduring one more time, because that's all it takes, one more time, but rather we find solace in our fears and become unrecognizable but its all in your head, so in the end you only get what you deserve, HELL! This time you have a choice to say; "Vade Retro, eice ex mente daemonia tua, omnia mala animi tui devince".
....
3 am everyday,
The demons come out to play,
As I lay on my bed to rest,
They come for my soul to possess,
As I close my eyes to sleep,
I pray to God my soul to keep,
And in the morning when I wake,
I know they found none to take - (demon time short poem)
No comments:
Post a Comment